A LETTER FROM MY SOUL TO YOURS

Fish Boi,

There are things I need to say, not from the part of me that once ached for you, but from the part of me that has finally softened into truth.

This isn’t a plea, or a wound, or a wish.

It’s a blessing.

Thank you.

You opened a door inside me that I didn’t know existed. You awakened a depth in me that felt sacred, a dimension of intimacy I had spent a lifetime believing was beyond reach.

What we shared was not ordinary. It wasn’t accidental. And it wasn’t something I will ever diminish.

You showed me what it feels like to meet someone beyond the surface, beneath the performance, inside the quiet where our real selves live.

Whatever moment that was, whatever space we touched together, I honor it. I carry its meaning, not its ache.

And I want you to know this too:

I forgive you. Completely.

You did the best you could with the emotional tools you had at the time. I see the boy you once were and the man you are trying to become. I see your wounds, your fear, your longing, your guarded heart. I see how hard you’ve fought to survive your own history.

And I respect it. I respect you.

I’m not angry. I’m not resentful. I don’t wish things had gone differently, even if part of me once did. I’ve grown enough to understand that some connections aren’t meant to stay, they’re meant to wake us up.

You woke me up, Fish. And I mean that with gratitude, not pain.

I want you to heal, truly heal. Not the kind of survival you’ve taught yourself, but the kind of healing that sets your spirit free. The kind of healing that quiets the storms you hide. The kind that lets you breathe deeply for the first time in your life. The kind that lets you love without fear swallowing you whole.

I’m praying for that healing for you, a holey healing, the kind where the light finally gets into the places you’ve sealed shut.

One day, you’ll break free from the demons you wrestle with in silence. One day, the walls you built to protect yourself will soften into something gentler. One day, you’ll let yourself be fully met by someone who sees you without triggering your fear.

And when that day comes, I hope you remember this:

You were never unworthy of love.

You were simply afraid of receiving it.

I’m grateful for the part of your journey you shared with me, grateful for the depth, grateful for the tenderness that slipped through your defenses, grateful for the truth you revealed, even if only for a moment.

Nothing about that was wasted. Nothing about it was in vain.

What we shared was real. It was beautiful. And it has already done what it came to do.

I release you with grace. I bless you with love. And I carry forward only the parts that made me grow.

May your path be gentle.

May your heart one day feel safe.

May your soul find rest.

May healing find you in the places where you’ve hidden the most.

Thank you for the depth. Thank you for the honesty we touched. Thank you for the part of your spirit you never meant to reveal.

And thank you for helping me remember who I am.

– Candice