For Partners
Loving Someone Who’s Healing from Incest Requires a Different Kind of Strength.
You can’t fix what happened to them, but you can learn how to love them safely through it.
Here, you’ll find trauma-informed guidance, compassion-based tools, and real-world wisdom to help you build connection without causing more harm.
Loving a survivor of incest can bring up confusion, guilt, rejection, and helplessness.
You may wonder why they pull away when things get close, why their moods shift so fast, or why they seem to distrust even your love.
These are not signs of rejection, they’re echoes of the past.
Understanding an incest survivor’s trauma responses is the first act of love.
Because of their lack of trust and the accompanying feelings of fear and anger, survivors have severe difficulties in allowing significant others, especially partners or spouses, to nurture or give to them. They will either rigidly maintain the caretaking role in the relationship or distance themselves. Often, they will complain, especially in couples work, that their partner does not attend to them, but, when the therapist intervenes to rectify the situation, the survivor tends to not cooperate. The survivor’s inability to be in the cared for role stems from both a fear of being dependent and the terror of being
hurt again.
Featured Articles for Partners of Incest Survivors
Section 2: The Partner’s Toolkit
Module Title: “Learn How to Be Safe for the One You Love.”
Subtext:
Tools for understanding, communication, and co-regulation — created for partners who want to love responsibly and grow consciously.
Interactive Cards (Grid):
📘 Loving an Incest Survivor: A Trauma-Informed Guide
🎴 Emotional Flashback Rescue Deck (Partner Edition)
💡 Boundaries & Safety Scripts for Difficult Conversations
❤️ Repair Rituals: How to Reconnect After a Trigger
🪞 Healing Intimacy Mini-Course (Coming Soon)
CTA:
“Explore The Partner’s Toolkit” → View All Tools
Image Prompt:
Two hands reaching across water, glowing with soft aqua light, representing healing connection and mutual safety.
Section 3: Communication & Connection
Title: “When Love Feels Like Walking on Broken Glass.”
Description:
It’s easy to feel like you’re always saying the wrong thing or making things worse.
These resources teach you how to communicate without triggering shame, how to rebuild trust after rupture, and how to stay emotionally connected through healing.
Featured Content (Carousel or 3-up layout):
🎧 The Art of Listening Without Defending
🪶 Words That Heal vs. Words That Harm
🔄 Reconnecting After Emotional Distance
CTA:
“Learn How to Speak Safety into Your Relationship.”
Image Prompt:
Surreal imagery of two figures surrounded by floating glass shards transforming into light; symbolizing communication and repair.
Section 4: Courses & Guided Experiences
Title: “Grow Together, Heal Together.”
Subtext:
Self-paced, compassion-based experiences to help you understand trauma, develop empathy, and practice secure love in real life.
Divi Modules (4 columns):
🎓 Course: Trauma-Informed Love 101
🕯️ Mini-Course: Understanding Emotional Flashbacks
💬 Workshop: Rebuilding Trust After Trauma
💗 Couples Journal: Healing Intimacy One Page at a Time
CTA:
“Enroll Together” → View Courses & Journals
🌹 Section 5: Featured Blog Posts for Partners
Title: “Because Loving a Survivor Changes You Too.”
Subtext:
Read real stories, reflections, and insights to help you navigate love, trauma, and healing with grace.
Blog Grid (Dynamic Divi Blog Module):
Why They Pull Away When You Get Close
How to Hold Space Without Taking It Personally
When You Feel Powerless Watching Them Hurt
The Difference Between Helping and Healing
When Your Patience Starts to Run Out
CTA:
“Read All Articles for Partners”
Section 6: Join the Holey Love Community
Title: “You Don’t Have to Figure It Out Alone.”
Subtext:
Connect with other partners walking this sacred path. Share insights, ask questions, and learn how to love a survivor without losing yourself.
Buttons:
🤝 Join the Partner Support Circle (Private Group)
🧭 Sign Up for Holey Love Updates
💬 Take the Partner Quiz: What Kind of Support Do You Offer?
Background Image Prompt:
Soft aqua-red gradient with faint stained glass patterns symbolizing connection and belonging.
Final CTA Section (Sticky or Footer)
Quote:
“When you love someone healing from trauma, your love becomes medicine — if you learn how to use it gently.”
Buttons:
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Download the Partner’s Toolkit
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Read the Partner Guidebook
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Take the Trauma-Informed Love Quiz
SEO & Metadata Suggestions
Title: “For Partners: Loving an Incest Survivor | Holey House”
Meta Description:
Learn how to love, support, and understand a partner healing from incest trauma. Explore trauma-informed resources, communication guides, and courses designed to help you build safe, soulful relationships.
Keywords:
trauma-informed love, partners of incest survivors, how to love a survivor, trauma healing in relationships, safe intimacy, emotional flashbacks in relationships, co-regulation, attachment after trauma, Holey House partner resources