Dumb Bitch Shit

by Candice Brazil | Dec 8, 2025 | 10,000 Matchsticks, Diary | 0 comments

Once again I feel like I’m just a dumb bitch doing dumb bitch shit.

Every word I long to speak gets trapped in my throat. Every dream I chase is merely an illusion, never seen or shared by another.

I knew it would go this way. I felt it coming.

I’ve abandoned myself for the benefit of another.

Truth is, I don’t know how to ask for help. I don’t know how to ask for what I need. I’ve been denied the care, consideration, love and nurturing that seems to be given so effortlessly to others.

Yet, I’m the reliable one. I’m the one that everyone turns to. I’m the one that people count on.

I give and I give, all the while discarding my own needs, wants, and responsibilities.

Then when I find myself drowning and desperate for help I’m the one who’s abandoned. I’m left to clean up the mess and pick up the pieces alone.

I have no one else to blame but myself. I’m not stupid, I know how the game works.

What I don’t understand is how to get people to care. I don’t know why people never want to pour back into me.

Written by Candice

Author. Artist. Healer. Survivor. After awakening from what I call my Trauma Coma, I realized that nearly everything I believed about myself was shaped by unresolved trauma. Today, I help others heal from the invisible wounds of incest and betrayal trauma. Holey House was born from my own healing journey. It’s a sacred space where souls with holes can transform their pain into purpose, their wounds into wisdom, and their shame into light. From holey to holy, this is where we remember who we were before the wound.

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