Incest Can Be the Most Psychologically Damaging form of Child Abuse
I say “can be” because there are always exceptions to any rule. All forms of childhood abuse or trauma can be psychologically damaging. The extent of the damage is based on a number of factors, like: severity of abuse, type of abuse, when the abuse took place, stigma about the abuse, resources available to cope or heal, and how much support you received after the abuse. This post will focus on incest and some of the reasons why this particular kind of childhood trauma can be so damaging.
Moral Injury
Moral injury is defined by the responses that occur due to a violation and betrayal of a person’s moral beliefs or value system. Simply put, it’s the hurt that we may feel when someone harms us in an unconscionable way. Incest is highly damaging to a child’s psyche and many times leads to prolonged psychological harm, like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or personality disorders.
As children, we expect that our caregivers will treat us with love and kindness. Being sexually abused by a parent is defies expectation. The fact that it is a parent that is doing harm is shocking and hard to wrap your head around. Victims are left confused as to why anyone who harm a loved one in this manner. Feelings of guilt and shame take hold as the victim tries to make sense of the atrocity.
The moral injury of incest can result in dissociation (leading to dissociative disorders & memory problems), severe psychological distress (leading to conversion disorders), depression (leading to suicide), hypervigelence (leading to anxiety disorders), cognitive disturbances (leading to schizophrenia), and other issues with interpersonal and social skills (leading to personality disorders). I’m not saying that this will happen with every incest survior. I’m saying that the nature of the traumatic injury, one of harm done by a family member, adds additional pain that isn’t present when the abuser is a stranger.
Lack of Support
A child’s primary support system is their immediate family. When incest occurs, damage to this primary source of support occurs. While the outside world is a place that may be scary for a child to face, the family home should be a safe place for children. If the family home is unsafe, the autonomic nervous system can be triggered into a state of constant arousal, meaning that the child is living in a perpetual trauma response.
Also, if a child is sexually abused by a stranger, their home becomes a safe place of support. The child is treated with care and concern by their caregivers. Whereas children who’ve experienced incest are many times blamed for the breakdown of the family system. Some children are removed from the family home for their protection. If the perpatrator is removed, the family could face poverty or homelessness. All of which compound the shame and self-blame the child may feel.
Social Stigma
To most people, incest is an abhorent act. Most people react to the topic of incest with disgust and revultion, and may even be nauseated or sick to their stomach at the mere mention of it. Because of this, conversations about incest are avoided. Most people don’t want to think about incest, let alone talk about it. Studies even show that some therapists avoid questioning incest victims, even when that is the main reason for therapy. This leaves many victims without anyone to turn to so they can process the event.
Most people will react to the disclosure of incest with shock or repulsion. While this is a normal reaction, the survivor may feel shame over this reaction. They can feel that they are repulsive, which may lead to self loathing and an aversion to discussing their trauma with anyone.
Attachment Disorders
Myths about Incest
Rape Culture
Self Isolation
Denial
Barriers to Disclosure
Limited Knowledge
Limited Resources
Substance Abuse
Reenactment & Retraumatization
Appropriation
Toxic Positivity
Harmful Therapies
Ignorance